Five and a  Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen
by J. Maria
Summary: When one barrel of choices is scraped clean, it's probably time to crack the window open. Multicross drabbles.
1. How to Choose?

Title: Five and a Half DADA Professors Dumbledore Almost Chose  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimers: JK owns all things Potterverse. Joss owns all things Buffyverse. Kripke owns all things SPN, Kenyon owns DH, Kenner owns her demon hunter, RTD owns DW and TW, ABC owns Greys.  
Spoilers: HBP, season 7  
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is having a very difficult time getting a DADA professor to even stay the full term anymore.  
Words: 133  
Part Summary: Who ever will he choose now?  
A/N: Okay, so I thought this was a funny idea.

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Five and a Half DADA Professors Dumbledore Almost Chose

How to Choose?

After the last five years of drifting between partial and total incompetence and competence of his Defense Against the Dark Arts professors, Albus Dumbledore found himself in a particularly odd situation. He'd completely exhausted the Wizarding Worlds local job applicants. No one - well, nearly no one - wanted the position. It was dangerous, and none of their previous professors had left Hogwart's hallowed halls unscathed in some way.

Death, severe memory loss, emotional scarring, mental and physical scarring from a prolonged imprisonment, and a severe case of what-goes-around-comes-around-itis plagued the former professors in the DADA position. He was just going to have to open a new barrel then, wasn't he? He hurriedly scrawled out a note and attached it to Fawkes. The phoenix would know exactly who the letter was intended for.


	2. Professor of Questionable Acclaim

Title: Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimers: JK owns all things Potterverse. Joss owns all things Buffyverse. Kripke owns all things SPN, Kenyon owns all things DH, Kenner owns all things demon hunter, RTD owns all things DW and TW, and ABC owns all things Greys.  
Spoilers: HBP, season 1  
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is having a very difficult time getting a DADA professor to even stay the full term anymore.  
Words: 215  
Part Summary: Its all about what you bring to the bargaining table that lures them in.  
A/N: Okay, so I thought this was a funny idea. It didn't hop off the page until about three months after I started re-writing it.

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Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen

Professor of Questionable Acclaim

The first applicant brought into Hogsmeade had been a man in his late forties. He was in desperate need of a shave and had quite questionable morals. He did have a long track record with the Dark Arts, and as far as Dumbeldore could tell John Winchester had not been tempted to dip into the well of darker magic.

He was a widower who had lost his wife and nearly lost his two young sons to a particularly vicious demon nearly twenty years ago. Albus' only bargaining chip in keeping the younger demon hunter in line had been to offer him a lead in the hunt for said demon, and possibly a way to get his sons back together.

This had seemed a reasonable bargain, and it had worked fine until John had tried to find the Bloody Baron's bones in order to salt and burn them a month before the fall term started. Needless to say, John was safely on his way back to the states. Albus kept up his end of the bargain. John was given some helpful clues to try and find the demon, and his sons were reunited. None of them were happy with the situation, but John got what he'd asked for. Now if only Dumbledore had gotten his teacher.


	3. Professor Soccer Mom & the Long Commute

Title: Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimers: JK owns all things Potterverse. Joss owns all things Buffyverse. Kripke owns all things SPN, Kenyon owns all things DH, Kenner owns all things demon hunter, RTD owns all things DW and TW, and ABC owns all things Greys.  
Spoilers: HBP, season 1  
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is having a very difficult time getting a DADA professor to even stay the full term anymore.  
Words: 173  
Part Summary: She didn't even come to visit the campus.  
A/N: I just really liked Julie Kenner's Carpe Demon. Sue me (Id prefer you not, though)

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Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen

Professor Soccer Mom and the Long Ass Commute

His second choice wouldn;t even leave her house. She would barely come to the fireplace to talk to him.

"Look, I really appreciate the sentiment, but right now I'm just training the neighbor, my daughter and her best friend enough to keep themselves alive. I've got a husband and a toddler to take care of, and I know nothing about teaching. I'm probably not even qualified. My education was rocky at best," Kate Connors sighed, her face distorted by the long distance flue call.

"The entire wizarding world rests on a knife's edge -"

"Look, I appreciate the thought, but my husband doesn't even know about my questionable past. I really don't think he'll appreciate the idea of me commuting to and from England every night."

"I understand," Dumbledore sighed.

He picked up the quill and scratched out another name. She would have made an excellent professor, but her family had to come first. He respected that, still it didn't leave him with many options, and his list was growing ever shorter.


	4. Professor RoseByAnyOtherName

Title: Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimers: JK owns all things Potterverse. Joss owns all things Buffyverse. Kripke owns all things SPN, Kenyon owns all things DH, Kenner owns all things demon hunter, RTD owns all things DW and TW, and ABC owns all things Greys.  
Spoilers: HBP, season 1  
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is having a very difficult time getting a DADA professor to even stay the full term anymore.  
Words: 137  
Part Summary: It was time for the radical approach any way.

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Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen

Professor Rose-By-Any-Other-Name

He wasn't _quite _sure what he had been thinking when he had approached this man. If he could even be called that. Captain Jack Harkness had seen his share of the other while in Cardiff, and in other locales that Dumbledore hadn't even the foggiest recognition of. And he would have been perfect.

If he hadn't tried to _shag_ every bloody thing from the entrance of Hogsmeade village to the Slytherin dungeons. Dumbledore could _definitely _see the attraction nearly all of the inhabitants felt for the man, but that wasn't really the image they needed. So, after a _lengthy_ session in Dumbledore's office with both himself and Professor McGonagall that none of them would _ever_ be mentioning in front of the student body, Captain Harkness gave a little salute and was on his way back to Cardiff.


	5. Professor In Casual Dress

Title: Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimers: JK owns all things Potterverse. Joss owns all things Buffyverse. Kripke owns all things SPN, Kenyon owns all things DH, Kenner owns all things demon hunter, RTD owns all things DW and TW, and ABC owns all things Greys.  
Spoilers: HBP, season 1  
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is having a very difficult time getting a DADA professor to even stay the full term anymore.  
Words: 110  
Part Summary: I think there's been a mistake  
A/N: Its been a long time since I wrote anything on these stories, so while doing spring cleaning I thought - well, lets just get it done. So. Ta-da.

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Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen

Professor In Casual Dress

Professor Dumbledore stared up at the imposing figure before him. Hawaiian shirt and a constantly pissed off look on his face did not bode well for the student body.

"I'm not even sure how you got my name," Savitar glared down at him.

"I believe Acheron - "

"Oh the Atlantean is going to get it. I don't do his dirty work."

"I beg your pardon?"

"As you should. I got too much shit on my plate to deal with _High School Musical_ level non-drama."

And before Dumbledore could even form a response to that, Savitar was gone. Sighing heavily, he returned to his list of names and crossed out another one.


	6. Professor the Nazi

Title: Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimers: JK owns all things Potterverse. Joss owns all things Buffyverse. Kripke owns all things SPN, Kenyon owns all things DH, Kenner owns all things demon hunter, RTD owns all things DW and TW, and ABC owns all things Greys.  
Spoilers: HBP, season 1  
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is having a very difficult time getting a DADA professor to even stay the full term anymore.  
Words: 151  
Part Summary: I think there's been a mistake  
A/N: Somewhere along the line, I kinda forgot who I was planning on making the five and a half professors(only one really stood out that I did remember).

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Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen

Professor the Nazi

Dumbledore stared down at the diminutive woman in Muggle scrubs, her hands on her hips and an angry look in her eyes.

"I don't have time for stupidity, and I don't have time to play Mommy to more than one kid," the witch snapped, her foot tapping with energy as she paced the office. "I already have to deal with my interns _and_ my pregnancy!"

Doctor Miranda Bailey threw that out, knowing the wizarding schools liked their professors to appear to have no knowledge of being sexual beings. It didn't help keep down teen sex figures (and honestly, in the close quarters of the school you actually _couldn't_ keep it sex free entirely) but the board of Governors would have a fit when they realized the new professor was pregnant. It made no sense, but it had sadly happened before.

"I do thank you for at least considering the post, Miranda."


	7. Professor of a Thousand Faces

Title: Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimers: JK owns all things Potterverse. Joss owns all things Buffyverse. Kripke owns all things SPN, Kenyon owns all things DH, Kenner owns all things demon hunter, RTD owns all things DW and TW, and ABC owns all things Greys.  
Spoilers: HBP, season 1  
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is having a very difficult time getting a DADA professor to even stay the full term anymore.  
Words: 153  
Part Summary: He worked out so perfectlywhat a pity.  
A/N: He;s not really the half, the second candidate was - or Savitar was, whichever you want to look at.

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Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen

Professor of a Thousand Faces

He'd been hesitant to approach the demon, but he'd come with good references. Three members of the Watchers council had vouched for him after all. And he did have a way with the children. He was soft spoken and had a sense of humor. So what if his skin drooped a little around his face? What member of the staff _didnt_ have wrinkles?

Clem had seemed a charm to have employed after all of the drama with his other candidates.

Until he tried to eat a first year's kitten. Until he'd been caught in a compromising situation with Sybil Trelawney. Until the Governors threw a proverbial hissy fit about it.

He hadn't sacked Clem, however. Dumbledore had just given him and Sybil a tiny cottage in Hogsmeade. You never knew when you were going to need a harmless demon and a faulty seer.

Now if only he could find a _permanent_ DADA professor.


	8. Professor

Title: Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimers: JK owns all things Potterverse. Joss owns all things Buffyverse. Kripke owns all things SPN, Kenyon owns all things DH, Kenner owns all things demon hunter, RTD owns all things DW and TW, and ABC owns all things Greys.  
Spoilers: HBP, season 1  
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is having a very difficult time getting a DADA professor to even stay the full term anymore.  
Words: 101  
Part Summary: He worked out so perfectlywhat a pity.

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Five and a Half DADA Professors Almost Chosen

Professor

Dumbledore crumpled the list of candidates in his fist and threw it into the fire. He was beyond done with the nonsense of trying to find a suitable and unshakable professor to man the position. Once again, he damned Riddle to a hell of his own making for being such a petty little bastard and making the lives of his DADA professors hell for the last three decades.

That was it. There was no one left. He'd tried everyone he could think of, every possible unknown. No one wanted the position and there was no one to take it.

Except...

"Snape."


End file.
